A Perfect Christmas

What does a “Perfect Christmas” mean to you? A beautifully decorated home? The stockings hung on the mantle of the fireplace, each with a name embroidered on it. Christmas lights decorating your house and the trees in your yard. A beautiful wreath on your door and garlands and lights decorating the stairs. Each room adorned with some festive cheer. A string of greeting cards received from friends and family hanging across the living room wall.  The Christmas tree with the ornaments hung “just so.” I saw a meme on Facebook saying something to the effect of “I didn’t know I was OCD until my children hung the ornaments on the tree.” And most importantly, the nativity set proudly displayed for all to see the “reason for the season.”

Is the perfect Christmas one in which you get all your Christmas cards and gifts mailed out in time for them to arrive before Christmas? You manage to get everyone the “perfect gift.” Christmas morning reveals stockings filled to overflowing, the tree is surrounded with presents; every one beautifully wrapped with ribbon and bows.

Perhaps for you the perfect Christmas is more about having the entire family gathered from across the continent (or further) to share time together? You share old memories and create new ones. Maybe it is about the concerts, cantatas, church services, and Christmas parties.

Christmas has been a very difficult time in my home for many years. As a single mom, I had to do it all. All the shopping, all the wrapping, all the cooking, all the driving to whatever event, all the mystery and surprise of Santa. With chronic fatigue threatening to run me over even at less hectic times of year, the busyness of the season has usually left me so exhausted and often sick that I can’t enjoy anything that the season is supposed to bring.

Add to that two boys on the autism spectrum. Caleb has always hated change. Pulling out our special dishes was enough to cause a meltdown. He could not handle the suspense of gifts – either giving or receiving, so the gifts he wanted to give (if he had any – thinking about others is another challenge kids with autism face) were always given before Christmas. If he received something that wasn’t exactly, I mean EXACTLY, what he was expecting, there would be a meltdown (similar to a temper tantrum but due to an inability to cope with life). The boys didn’t like the special meal – it wasn’t “normal” food. Skip the Christmas music, it wasn’t “normal” either. My exhaustion would lead to miscommunications, or just the inability to head off meltdowns. Christmas in my home has historically been filled with anger, disappointment, and meltdowns.

Coming into Christmas 2015, it certainly didn’t have the makings of “a perfect Christmas.” Our small health food business kept us busy at Christmas markets until mid-December. We managed to get some Christmas lights up on the three maple trees in our front yard, then one of them stopped working. A wreath made it on the front door. Forget Christmas cards, and we ordered gifts online a couple of days before Christmas hoping they might be delivered to family members living far away in time for Christmas.

The Sunday before Christmas my brother, Mark, went to get the Christmas decorations from the basement. I heard a thud as the house shook. He hit his head HARD on the heating duct. He spent the next three days in bed with a concussion. Christmas Eve we went to see his doctor and received the good news that there was no internal bleeding. However, he still needed to take it easy.

We never got the decorations up. The tree never left the basement storage. Even the nativity set didn’t make it out of the box. Most of our family lives far away and we decided several years ago that gathering at Christmas resulted in too many travel plans going awry, so no big Christmas gathering. I was still wrapping presents when Caleb and his dad arrived late on Christmas afternoon. They were neither fancy, nor adorned with ribbon and bows – they were simply hidden in paper hurriedly taped shut. Caleb’s present hadn’t even arrived! Christmas dinner didn’t have the usual squash (a favourite of mine), and we didn’t have our traditional Christmas pudding for dessert.

So, what made this a perfect Christmas?

Joy, laughter, gratitude, and a celebration of the abundant life Jesus gives us.

Christmas Eve we enjoyed a service at Christopher’s church, where he sang in the choir. After years of striving to share Christ with my boys, Christopher, at 19, is going to church on his own and getting involved!

Christmas morning Mark was feeling much better. Mark, Christopher and I joined about 40 other people in downtown Ottawa to hand out clothes, toiletries and homemade cookies to those experiencing homelessness. It was incredible!

I had talked to a local second-hand store to get donations, and then purchased a bunch of boots at 50% off. The store provided several boxes of coats, sweaters, scarves, and pants. Other had obtained donations, as well. There were four vehicles full of stuff to give away! I had two pairs of men’s boots, both labeled size 10. Two men approached me, one needing a size 12 and the other needing a size 9. I had them try on the size 10 boots, and THEY FIT!

Christopher initially feeling very overwhelmed, started handing out the homemade cookies we had collected and made. The joy was contagious. There was so much gratitude for the simple things that we all take for granted! God has an incredible heart for the poor, and we draw closer to Him when we also care about the poor.

After visiting three shelters, a bunch of us gathered to share some of the joy with a church member who wanted to participate, but could not because of a physical disability. Then, the three of us went to visit our grandmother (Christopher’s great grandmother), who is 97 years-old. She does not experience any dementia, but is essentially blind, preventing her from participating in the many activities that used to bring her enjoyment.  Many of the residents around her do suffer from dementia, so she is very lonely. It was very special to spend some time with her on Christmas day.

We got home exhausted, but feeling great. Mark pushed through and made an awesome meal – his Christmas gift to us. Caleb and his dad arrived, as I was hurriedly wrapping the gifts. Even the stockings weren’t quite ready when they arrived. Once the presents and stockings were ready I had the boys help bring them downstairs. I wanted Caleb to help out in the kitchen, and the warning bells were going off – too much stress for him. I decided not to push it.

The gift giving was wonderful. The boys had each thought about what to give me. Not that it is about the gifts, but the fact that they actually thought about it and planned for it is a HUGE BLESSING. I am very grateful for the gifts they gave, but even more grateful to see them growing in their ability to think about others! Caleb knew my gift to him would arrive late, and was OK with it. Wayne (the boys’ dad) gave gifts of helping others in the third world.

In our stockings we traditionally have a couple of lottery scratch cards. This year one of them was a bingo with Christmas/winter symbols. Wayne was giving them different identities such as calling the gingerbread man a politician. Christopher was pronouncing them with the weird abbreviations (in order to fit in the small space). The laughter started, and just escalated. Later in the kitchen, Mark and I were laughing so hard we just couldn’t stop. It has been years since either of us laughed so hard.

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (Jn 10:10)

There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your fellow Israelites who are poor and needy in your land. (Deut 15:11)

 Mordecai recorded these events, and he sent letters to all the Jews throughout the provinces of King Xerxes, near and far, to have them celebrate annually the fourteenth and fifteenth days of the month of Adar as the time when the Jews got relief from their enemies, and as the month when their sorrow was turned into joy and their mourning into a day of celebration. He wrote them to observe the days as days of feasting and joy and giving presents of food to one another and gifts to the poor. (Esther 9:20-22 Although this refers to the feast of Purim, what a way to celebrate the coming of our Saviour!)

Father, thank you for sending your Son to give us abundant life! Thank you for blessing us with so much! Thank you that you care about the poor, the homeless, the widow, and the orphan! Thank you for the opportunities you provide for us to draw closer to You through helping the poor! Thank you for the celebration of Christmas: the joy, the time with family, the feasting, the laughter, and the giving of gifts to each other and to those who really need it! Walking with You is truly ABUNDANT LIFE! Thank you for a Perfect Christmas!