Strengths and Weaknesses, Part 3

This post was originally part of the previous post, but I felt it was too long, so I broke it up. Hindsight is telling me that I left it at a bad point. So, here is part 3, not even 12 hours later.

When I was trying to raise my two boys alone while also facing my own health issues, I was completely unable to cope. Their extreme behaviours and meltdowns drained me of every lost drop of energy. A social worker that came to our home could see that I needed help. The home was beyond cluttered, as I wasn't able to maintain laundry or dishes, or cleaning the bathrooms. We were then blessed by the assistance of a homemaker. I was to work alongside her and work on maintaining cleanliness in the home.

Well, I had to let that homemaker go a couple of months ago. When seeking a replacement, it was pointed out to me that I really didn't need that help any longer. I became defensive. I am trying to start a business and still have chronic fatigue! I am using the funding for a housekeeper to help me get off government disability assistance! Well, I sought some advice from a friend who works full time and manages her home even though she has fibromyalgia – which comes with chronic fatigue. She had some great wisdom to share.

God has given me an opportunity to become independent of that help once again. I need to push through for 15 minutes a day, beyond what I think I can do, and get one task done. It is time to give up that government assistance. She also shared that seeking help from people that haven't faced what I face is frustrating for everyone. That advice made me realize that just like my boys were unable to understand another person's point of view, the people advising me on how to maintain my home could not understand my challenges.

After more prayer and meditation, I have realized that I do still need help with my home,  However, I have been seeking the wrong help. What I need is help from someone who can help me organize my home and my life in a way that empowers me to have success, and it doesn't have to come from government funding. (Give a man a fish and he eats for a day – teach him to fish and he eats for a lifetime). I need to get that help from someone who understands how scatterbrained I am, and can help me to work within that weakness. All the advice I have ever received in terms of housekeeping has been from people who have no clue what it is like for me and no patience or desire to understand. I am not making an excuse, but rather sharing an epiphany!

There is hope for me – I just need to get help from someone who knows how to address my weakness! Just like my students who were able to do math when given blue paper, I can manage my home if given the tool that address the real problem! I can clean toilets and mop floors and don't mind doing so. That is not the issue. The issue is organization and distraction. So, I'm not sure how I will go about it, but I am taking steps to organize my home to make it easier to maintain. A friend has given me a website that has all sorts of organizational ideas. I have dropped some of my other responsibilities and commitments in order to have more time. I have even taken a few weeks away from the main aspects of the business in order to create organization in every area of my life.

When we give advice to others, we need to realize that not everyone can do things the way we do, or the way we think they should. Let us learn to give people the benefit of the doubt. When someone is trying, but still failing, we need to find out why. A person dealing with failure needs encouragement and help to understand what is at the root of the failure. Too often, just like the teachers my students had in the past, we judge the problem to be effort or some form of stupidity. Sometimes effort is the problem, but often there is a deeper problem that has led to failure so many times that the person believes it isn't worth trying any more. Stupidity is a harsh term that I believe is NEVER true. Perhaps that person has a real weakness in one or more areas in their life, but they DO have strengths. If we focus entirely on their weaknesses, we destroy the person.

As I finished editing the previous paragraph (some of which was also in the last post), I realized I already know the perfect person to help me with organization! For much of his life he was called stupid. He can read at the level of about an 11 year-old. A few years ago I told him with all sincerity that when my boys grow up, I want them to be like him. My boys are bright in terms of academics, but they lack the walk with God that leads to character, peace, and work ethic in this Christian brother. We had a flood in our basement a few months ago. What was already a disorganized storage and work area became a disaster. This awesome brother came and organized the mess for us! I believe that for me to organize that basement would have been the equivalent of this brother trying to take one of my university chemistry courses. Yes, I think I found a solution that will bless us both.

Praise people's strengths and give them encouragement and help where they are weak.

Dear Father,

Thank you for Your incredible love. You made each and every one of us just the way you wanted to. No one is a mistake! Each one of us has strengths and weaknesses – and you planned them. No one has it all together. I thank you so much that I can learn from someone I would have looked down on before I became a Christian. In those days, academics was everything to me. I praise you for how you change us and renew our minds to your thinking. Please help us all to realize everyone around us has something they can teach us. Everyone around us has weaknesses that are a result of how you made them, not because of lack of effort. We need to accept them as you do, with love and grace and patience. Please help us not to cram everyone into a box. We may fit very well in that box, but not everyone does. Sometimes we think the other person is the problem, when the problem is our box. Thank you for making everyone different and giving everyone a role in the body of Christ! Your love is so amazing! Thank you for this new day to worship and praise you!

Amen.